Gen Z is in its random era, it has been decided. All this discourse about eggs and hot dogs feels like when millennials terrorized the world with pizza and chicken nuggets and being extra like guac. Boomers were just less inclined to be a part of millennial randomness than millennials are to be a part of Gen Z randomness. The problem is, I engage with a lot of these trends (at this point, a doctor is going to have to bludgeon me in the back of the head to get me to stop saying cunt), so I think millennials at work assume I’m like, super in-the-know on things, and that I’m able to just slap down a little “slay” pun onto any given situation. But I cannot. This personality trait you’re seeing is not youthfulness. I’m just really fucking annoying.
Here’s what I’ve been thinking about this week:
Trump is running in 2024. Y’all wanna do this dance again? Remember when he was talking to Xi Jinping about chocolate cake and then forgot what country he bombed? Even Christian Walker is fed up with it. You know it’s bad.
I keep having these very intense dreams where I’m locked inside a glass-walled house during the apocalypse and the only thing stopping me from getting attacked is papering a list titled “Terms and Conditions of My Death, Please Read Carefully” over and over across the glass windows (for privacy, and compromise).
No, I will not be using Mastodon if Twitter goes down. Please be so for real. For years, Twitter was the hellsite. We had all agreed it was a cesspool of unwellness and borderline collective psychopathy (remember the boiling an egg is classist thread), and now we’re going in for seconds? No thought I ever have is so precocious I need to impulse share it for likes, and my verification badge makes me look like a loser. I cannot do it again on an app with worse UX. I’ll keep posting mid Instagrams.
My therapist told me maybe I am often highly emotional because “the hysterical is the historical” and that is such a bar. I’m absolutely sick of the laid-back sleepytime girlies. I do not desire to be mysterious. Where are my hysterical bitches at?
Katy Perry did in fact post this graphic, letting people know: “I just realized it! People are prisoners of their phones. That’s Why they are called cell phones!”
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is out now and I simply will not be taking criticisms at this point in time. What were the many plot holes, you ask me? I have literally no idea. Do not ask me the color of anything.
Nice things to consider:
Champion wrestler Chris Jericho was on Masked Singer.
The age difference between Kylie Jenner and this girl.
Snoopy tea, it’s Snootea.
Since we last spoke, I covered the New Jersey racial profiling case where a man called the cops on a 9-year-old girl catching lanternflies. I reported on Toledo’s medical debt forgiveness plan. With Ikran Dahir, we wrote the ongoing situation with K-pop group Omega X, who accused their agency of sexual, verbal and physical abuse.