tamagoyaki

want 2 sleep on it

Last Sunday, I went to New York City’s Sonny Angel meetup and wrote a deep dive on what this viral naked cherub doll means to the modern young working professional. It’s my favorite kind of story to write, the ones for the girlies that are sort of, “it’s not that serious, but isn’t it, though?” I invited my friends (bring your friends to work day) and they surprised me with a little pineapple baby after. I am blessed and highly favored. And I’m so proud of the final result. Read it!

Here’s what I’ve been thinking about:

First we lost Pete Davidson to Kim Kardashian, then we lost Bad Bunny to Kendall Jenner. The third horseman of the apocalypse has arrived. We’ve allegedly lost Timothee Chalamet to Kylie Jenner, according to this DeuxMoi tip, and I saw three audios threatening Kylie before I even knew what was going on. Kris has picked a good but dangerous internet crush to entrap. It’s our move now.

I had a full-on mental breakdown on Friday because what the fuck is this? I can’t slay in these conditions. Why can’t tax forms be pink and scented? Why can’t blood work results be like, sparkly with a fun font? Why can’t stocks be named after Sanrio characters? Why can’t we gameify our retirement so we drag the little money into a little piggy bank and it makes a “wow” sound effect? I need POTUS to do something before our national ability to slay completely collapses.

Donald Trump was indicted on Tuesday but on Twitter he was not the most trending topic, second to the release of the Barbie trailer, which in my opinion is how it should be. He wanted us to look at him, I was looking at Ryan Gosling in a jean vest. Period.

Why is everyone so obsessed with quote-tweeting right now? Everyone wants to truth is xx again. From forbidden pairs, to the only four genders, Ken recasting, and three men you’d feel safe stuck in an elevator with

Nice things to consider:

• She’s everything, he’s just Ken thread.

• The fake Ellie Goulding news tweets.

• Danielfunnyashelll’s 2010s fashion era TikTok recaps.

Since we last spoke, I continued covering the deadly tornadoes sweeping the country. I reported on a series of violent drug-facilitated robberies in Manhattan. I worked on Trump’s indictment day from the newsroom — writing with David Mack on a couple that got married next door, rounding up memes with Ikran Dahir, and overviewing the crossover content with the Barbie trailer release. I published my look into the world of Sonny Angels. I named the medium ugly boyfriend as this season’s hottest accessory.